Knowledge is empowering
By Timothy Redd
August 31st was quite an interesting day here at MCIL. I facilitated our Sex and Disability workshop with the assistance of Allison Donald and Christina Clift. We had a great panel of presenters which included: Dr. Deborah Carter, a psychologist; Chris and Suzanne Colsey, a married couple; Gwendolyn Owens, a romance enhancement specialist; and Donna Blackard, an HIV outreach coordinator.
Sex and Disability is still a taboo subject, but I think it’s time to say that a disability should not mean a life void of intimacy. It’s totally possible to have sex with a disability. A person with a disability must embrace the ability to adapt, and that is key when it comes to sex and disability.
According to the World Health Organization, "Sexuality is an integral part of the personality of everyone: man, woman and child; it is a basic need and aspect of being human that cannot be separated from other aspects life." Sex and disability tends to be unmentionable and as a result more people with disabilities do not have satisfying sexual expression and experience.
“Sex and disability tends to be a taboo area for many abled-bodied persons and is rarely discussed in the same sentence,” reports Disabled-world.com. “As a result more than 50% of disabled people do not have any form of a regular sex life. People with physical or intellectual disabilities in today's society are often regarded as non-sexual adults. Sex is very much associated with youth and physical attractiveness, and when it is not, is often seen as "unseemly". If sex and disability are discussed, it is very much in terms of capacity, technique, and fertility - in particular, male capacity and technique and female fertility - with no reference to sexual feelings by ignoring aspects of sexuality, such as touching, affection, and emotions. In addition, opportunities for sexual exploration among disabled people, particularly the young, are very limited. There is often a lack of privacy and they are much more likely than other young people to receive a negative reaction from an adult if discovered. The general reduction in life choices also has an impact on self-esteem which in turn affects sexuality A person with a disability of some kind may tend to feel unattractive, or even less worthy of sexual partnership or relations, because they think that they can't live up to the idealized image today’s society has set. If the disability happened later on in their life, the person may recall how they used to look and feel very unattractive by comparison to who they once were.”
Presented in the workshop was a sex and disability overview, a discussion on consent, the perspective and experience of being a couple with a disability and overcoming certain barriers that has led to an enriching relationship. The workshop included a product demo of the most popular sex toys, a very candid discussion on safe sex, Memphis STD statistics, and Prep education.
What is Prep? PrEP means Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis, and it’s the use of anti-HIV medication that keeps HIV negative people from becoming infected. PrEP is approved by the FDA and has been shown to be safe and effective. A single pill taken once daily, it is highly effective against HIV when taken every day. The medication interferes with HIV’s ability to copy itself in your body after you’ve been exposed. This prevents it from establishing an infection and making you sick. Free Rapid HIV testing was offered and free condom packets were distributed as well.
There are many stereotypes that are pervasive when it comes to people with disabilities. Opening the door to these challenging topics I hope will one day help lead us to a more inclusive and accepting society. It is also my hope that events like this will truly impact and equip our community with useful information that will aid everyone in making the best decisions possible because for many of us nobody had a conversation about sex. Honestly, I was told you have to wait until you get married. I firmly believe knowledge is empowering. For events happening here at the center check us out at www.mcil.org and for more information of the topics discussed in the workshop check out these links below.
- https://www.disabled-world.com/disability/sexuality/
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Pq4Gs-QnCs
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g20HcqaIEk8
- http://www.whatisprep.org/
- https://aidsvu.org/state/tennessee/memphis/
- http://www.lebonheur.org/our-services/le-bonheur-in-the-community/community-hiv-network/
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